What Better Gift Than That Of Your Time?
As Baby Boomers, we have learned the importance of time. When you’ve lived as long as us, you realize just how little time you have left. No, I’m not trying to be morbid but, you realize those visits with parents are of greater significance and weekends with your children hold more clout.
How do you feel when you run into someone who you almost forgot about? Someone that you haven’t seen in years? Or maybe decades? Many times our first thought is, where did the time go?
Poo and I cut our vacation short, last week, so we could attend a funeral. The funeral was not of someone I knew but, the brother of someone I know extremely well.
Brittney worked for me for eight years. She came to me when she was in her early 20’s and left around age 30. I watched her grow personally, as well as professionally, during that time. She was my right hand man and I depended on her as such. We helped each other through some extremely tough times. She was a model employee but more ………. she became my friend.
“A friend is what the heart needs all the time.” – Henry Van Dyke
Although we don’t get together often, we do stay in touch, and when I heard that her little brother had passed away, I immediately knew I wanted to be there for her.
As I was reading about his death, it reminded me of this same time of year in 2013. My Mom passed away 5 years ago this month. It was a difficult event but there are certain memories for me that are especially vivid and help ease the pain. Oh ……. and “time” helps. 🙂
What I remember the most are the people who attended the visitation. Aside from my immediate family and relatives, there were people who I had called, at one time or another: friend, co-worker or confidant. Peeps I hadn’t seen in years, or decades.
When I recall that time in my life I’m still astounded by the people who showed up, out of the blue, illustrating that they were thinking of my siblings and I during a time of great sorrow.
Joe, a young man my Dad had mentored, who became a family friend, stopped by to pay his respects. I don’t think I have seen Joe since my father passed away in 1992.
Kurt, a man I worked with in the Genealogy Department at the Fort Wayne Public Library when I was just a high school student, stopped in as well. I hadn’t seen Kurt in years, maybe decades.
My first and very best friend, Laura, came to the calling. She and I became fast friends in 1st grade at St. Patrick’s Catholic Elementary School. I don’t remember how we became inseparable but it was probably because I walked past her house on the way to school everyday, eventually, the two of us walking together.
Most likely, she talked to me first. I was a shy kid and she was just the opposite. We remained friends through high school but lost touch after graduation, until I saw her again at my wedding in 1985. I still considered her a good friend but, unfortunately she had a busy life, one too busy for socializing. She was starting a fast growing family and I moved out-of-town. Laura has always been an important person in my life, if only because we shared so many milestones together, growing up as BFF’s. As you know, the bonds of growing angst run deep.
Then out of nowhere, almost 30 years later, Laura shows up at my Mother’s Calling. She may never know how much that gesture meant to me. I was ecstatic to see her, meet her husband of 30 years, and catch up with her life, as much as you can do in a limited amount of time. It was an amazing gift. The gift of time.
Because my Mom passed away unexpectedly, while visiting my brother in San Francisco, there was an autopsy required before the body could be released to us. We waited two weeks for the results and then another week before we could hold the service.
My heart leaps as I remember those surprising faces. They were a wonderful conclusion to a deeply distressing time. They are the people who you think of off and on as you go through the motions of life but kind of forget about until something sparks your memory. Only geography keeps them distant.
As I keep in mind those people who were there for me and my siblings when my Mom passed, I wanted to give that same gift to someone I care about.
As you know, I have two daughters as well as two bonus daughters. If I were to have another, Brittney would be that daughter. In fact, I often call her my 3rd daughter.
Loosing a sibling would be a horrifying event, but I wanted to make sure she knew I was there for her in her time of grief as she mourned her precious loss.
Is there any more precious gift that we can give to those we love than the gift of time?
“Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
xoxo, Katy
