Last Sunday the Pastor at the church I attend asked one simple question to the congregation. “Can any relationship survive without forgiveness?”
He went on to deliver a beautiful and meaningful sermon on this subject. Before Sunday, I hadn’t given this subject much thought. But ……. I’ve been thinking about what he said all week.
As I mentioned on my Home Page, I was raised in the Catholic Church. I was baptized catholic, I went to catholic schools, I was married in the Catholic Church, I had my children baptized in the Catholic Church and I sent my children to catholic schools.
And then, I had my marriage dissolved.
After a short hiatus, and after I got over “being embarrassed,” I started going back to Sunday Mass. I continued going even after I met and married my husband. He is Lutheran. So on the weekend, Poo would go his way and I, mine. That got kind of old after a while as we wanted to worship together. We decided to go to his church one weekend and then mine the next. We followed through with that agreement for about two years and then I decided to just go to his church. Once I remarried, I couldn’t take communion in the Catholic Church anymore so I decided I’d like to attend a church where I could take communion.
In the beginning it was really uncomfortable for me to go to his church, and not because it was the Lutheran Church as the Catholic and Lutheran services are similar in many ways. It hinged more on the congregation and perceived past relationships. I live in a small town and, as I’m sure you can imagine, idle talk abounds. I left in tears a few times, most likely from my own feelings of insecurity rather than anything said or done. But I hung in there and kept going. And believe me, there were more than a few that I told myself and Poo, that I wasn’t going back.
I did keep going back though. As I write this, and really stop to think about it, it dawns on me that I’ve been going to this church regularly now for nearly 7 years. I’m glad I hung in there as I’ve never experienced more inspirational doctrine.
Have you ever sat through a homily that just speaks to you? A sermon that hits a cord with you? One that you think about for hours or days afterwords? This happens to me on a regular basis at this church, and last Sunday was no exception.
Again, the question was………..
“Can any relationship survive without forgiveness?”
He continued………….
- Can a marriage survive without forgiveness?
- Can relationships with your siblings survive without forgiveness?
- Can a relationship with your parents survive without forgiveness?
- Friendships?
- Children?
- Neighbors?
- Can any relationship in your life survive without the act of forgiveness?
Probably not. Feels kind of humbling, huh?
At some time or another, we all give the gift of forgiveness and we all receive it as well. It might be the greatest gift God bestows on us.
As I’ve thought about this question throughout the week, it dawns on me that there is another very important question on this subject.
Can the relationship with oneself survive without forgiveness?
I only thought of it because I have grappled with forgiving myself in the past. I’ve made a lot of mistakes over the years, but I made a very big one when I was young and I never could come to terms with it. It changed my life path for the next 25 years. Down deep, I never thought I deserved to be happy. I punished myself. I beat my self up. I led a self-deprecating life, undervaluing myself in every way.
I prayed a lot and, at some point, a light bulb went off in my head. I realized that my God was a forgiving God and all he wants is for his children to be happy. That meant me!
As Pastor John, at First English Lutheran Church, wrapped up his homily, he tells a very personal story of someone very dear to him who had been deliberately hurt. His friend didn’t want revenge, she just wanted him to pray with her, for the man.
Forgiveness in its most raw form ……………..
His story was so honest and from his heart that I started to tear up as I listened to him and heard the pain in his voice. I still leave in tears occasionally, not because I don’t feel like I belong but, because the Pastors speak from life experiences and raw truth.
Forgiveness is a big deal. It can make or break us ………………..
“Pray to have eyes that see the best in people, a heart that forgives the worst, a mind that forgets the bad, and a soul that never loses faith in God.”
Live life to the fullest!
xoxo, Katy