Tag: Need To Belong

February Challenge – Can You Listen Without Interrupting?

Sometimes, I just can’t stop myself.

Me, with my 7 siblings last September. The last sibling picture we have of all of us together was taken in 2008.

Yes, I’m one of those. I don’t intentionally want to interrupt my friends, my family, my children, or my spouse.

I’m impatient at times and, as much as I hate the association it has with rudeness, I will interject my thoughts into another’s commentary.

I am the youngest of eight and, my Baby Boomer siblings might say while growing up I was spoiled, possibly a contributing factor to this act of self- centeredness. But, in my mind, I’m just jockeying for a position. A chance to speak. 🙂

Seriously, being the youngest of eight, I never got a word in edgewise.

The truth is …….. I need to be more aware.

So, here it is …….. my Micro-Resolution for the month of February.

Listen More, Talk Less.

I’m not sure when this terribly insensitive habit started, as I was always the quiet kid growing up, but most likely it was during the first few years of college, when I started to emerge from my quiet self. It was during my first semester at IU, that I write about in a post titled “MOM, WHY DIDN’T YOU BECOME A WRITER?,” when I realized I would not survive in such a large campus learning environment if I didn’t allow my true spunkiness to emerge from my tiny 5’2″ frame.

However, if I want to break this pattern of behavior, I must first figure out why I feel compelled to do it, right?

So, why do I interrupt others?

According to leading experts in the field, there can be multiple reasons or motivations behind my actions, which may include:

  • Feeling the need to belong.
  • Attempting to relate to others.
  • Wanting to gain the audience’s attention.
  • Fear of forgetting what I want to say.
  • My own lack of self awareness.
  • A desire to prove expertise on the topic being discussed.
  • Everyone else is interrupting and I want in on the action too.
  • Or, I might be passionate about the topic.

If I’m being brutally honest, I suppose all of these reasons could apply to any of my particular circumstances.

  1. Of course I want to belong!
  2. Do I feel the need to be relatable? Yes.
  3. Do I want to be the center of attention? Mostly no, but sometimes.
  4. And, yes, I loose my train of thought sometimes and can forget what I want to add to the conversation.
  5. Lack of self awareness? I suppose so.
  6. Although I don’t consider myself an expert in ANYTHING, who wouldn’t want to be on something? I probably pretend to know more about weightlifting than I actually do.
  7. And, because I am so passionate about lifting, I might try to act like I know it all, but don’t fall for my BS! 🙂
I have been lifting for 5 years now but, last year I began adding supersets, compound sets & drop sets to my routine and it has helped my muscle definition. You can read about how, and why, I started weightlifting in my post, “GETTING FIT AFTER 50.”

But, I shall fret no longer ……. I found some tips from the experts on how to change that awful, impatient, and rude perception I am projecting:

  • Put a finger over your lips as a reminder.
  • Ask a friend to tip you off if you do interrupt.
  • Challenge yourself to stay quiet.
  • Don’t assume a pause is the end of the discussion.
  • Wait 10 seconds before responding.
  • Try to repeat back what the person said.
  • Don’t be thinking of a solution for the problem.

My February resolution is off to a good start. I have already stopped myself, a few times, trying to rush in and interject my thoughts. Cudo’s to me!

Can I keep it going?

It’s still early ………

“Listening is an attitude of the heart, a genuine desire to be with another.” – L. J. Isham

xoxo, Katy