Do You Let Life Define You?

Or …….. Do YOU define your life?

I started a journal back in 2017, most likely, because I had “things” I wanted to work through. Ultimately, that journal led to this blog.

Like many, at the time, I was documenting gratitude. Remember? That used to be, and still is, “a thing.”

If you’re one of my peeps that began following me from the beginning, you know that my daughter, Hannah, is the one who suggested I blog about the cooking class I was taking at the time.

I’m sure the dubious look I gave her said it all, but I decided to take her advise and put pen to paper, so to speak. After a few posts, however, I found blogging about “Mise en place” and the difference between “Blanching” and “Parboiling” wasn’t exactly intriguing.

I started taking the journal with me everywhere and jotting down things that I just didn’t want to forget or random ideas that popped in to my head.

Some of the things I wrote down became ideas for my blog, sometimes not. Some of the ideas I would expand on and others would only get one sentence.

I have also used this journal to document my exercise routine or new weightlifting sequences I want to try. I use it to write down my research notes on a specific post. When I was making masks during the first year of the pandemic, I used it to keep track of my orders.

I don’t consider it a diary, not in the traditional sense, it’s more like a way to channel any hint of creativity that might pop into my head.

I’m still using the same book I bought in 2017, which should tell you how consistent I am. 🙂

Every once in awhile, I’ll have someone who follows me ask why I haven’t posted anything lately. My response? Writers block. Busy with life. Lack of inspiration.

Unfortunately, my journal hasn’t received much attention in the past year but, my interest was sparked recently as I witnessed a friend from high school evolve before my very eyes. (At least, as much as you can on social media).

This friend and I from high school, (I’m a Boomer so, for me, that was 40 years ago), reconnected several years ago via Facebook. This person just recently came out as Non Binary. All I could think about is the courage it must have taken to reveal such a personal life-long struggle and journey.

This person, so clearly, decided to live their truth and step out of a comfort zone that probably protected them from the harsh realities of day-to-day life. This person decided to define their life and not let life define them.

POWERFUL.

This fearless public declaration made me think about my own life. I began wondering about my own realities. Was I living my truth? Was I living up to my own ethos? Have I compromised my standards over the years for the sake of fitting in? Am I letting life define me?

I have often wondered, over the course of my life, how I can stay true to myself and still navigate the pressures of every day life. Let’s face it ………… compromise is essential in life, that is, if you want to survive.

Most likely, “survival” means something different for every one of us. Everyday, I make decisions that will affect my survival including, my physical health, my emotional health, my financial health, my relationship status with my children, family, friends and business associates.

Society tries to define us. Other people try to define us. We even try to define ourselves. It’s not easy to push back on that doctrine.

How in the world did my friend find the courage to push back? By their own admission, this person was, “Always like this.” …………….. I never had a clue 40 years ago.

I can’t speak for this person but I’m guessing, especially being of Boomer Age, at some point it becomes more of a hassle conforming to the predefined norms society offers us. At this point in our life, what do we have to lose by choosing to lead a more truthful life? Why should we hide behind a counterfeit mask? Haven’t we earned the right to DEFINE OUR OWN LIFE?

One poignant fact we learn as we age is that life is short. Too short to let others pigeonhole us, degrade us, berate, censure or DEFINE US!

Everyday, I try to live up to my own moral standards. I try to live MY truth and define MY own life. Most of the time, I’m ok. But …….. you all know as well as I, some days it’s not easy. Ultimately, when I lay my head down for the night, I want to go to sleep knowing I lived up to my individual ideology that day.

So ……….. Are you living your truth?

And, what the heck does that even mean?

According to “bestselfmedia.com,” there are 3 things you need to do:

1. Get Clear – Deny outside influencers and societal norms and listen to your inner voice.
2. Befriend Fear – Time to take a good look at yourself and honor and accept who you see in the mirror. It is scary not to follow the status quo but once you step out of your comfort zone, all fear on board, the other side promises more life clarity and joy.
3. Release Judgement – STOP caring what others think! Do you really want to live your life trying to please others at the expense of your own happiness? Time to take ownership of your life choices.

I absolutely love, love, love that last one. That is probably the most problematic for me. Who doesn’t want others to like them? Love them? Respect them?

Back to my brave friend from high school ………….. I’m completely in awe of this friend! I can tell this person is happy, totally out there, living and loving life the way they want to. Living their truth …………… and not defending it!

In the words of my Pastor, “Amen brothers and sisters!”

“Self-love can only be achieved by living an authentic life. It’s not possible to truly love and accept yourself when you are not being true to yourself.” – Anthon St. Maarten

xoxo, Katy