Are You a Crier?

I am a crier.

Noooo, not like the “town crier.” More like a blubbering idiot.

Ok, maybe that title is somewhat misleading?

Regardless of my deceptive ruse, this blog post evolved from a couple of recent incidents where I found myself a bit emotionally overwhelmed. It always seems to make the people around me, and in this case that means the people I am “with” via Zoom, uncomfortable.

Have you ever noticed that when, in a group or even when you’re with just one other person, someone begins to shed a few tears and everyone freezes? And, you know what they’re thinking ………… Oh my gosh, what do I do? What should I say? I’m not equipped to handle this public show of emotion. Please God, shut this down, NOW!

Heck, I’m the one sniveling and I want it to stop.

It seems as I get older, the more frequently this happens to me. Consequently, that led me to wonder why I am cursed with this headache.

Although, I could argue, 2020 might have a lot to do with my heightened sense of emotional awareness. I have recently found crying somewhat calming in such a discombobulated environment we are living.

Thank you global pandemic but, you may now be excused!

But why do I cry in so many different situations? Now, I definitely would not consider myself depressed, more like …………perpetually aware of a changing world.

Of course the usual events will make me teary-eyed. Weddings and funerals are a given.

Let’s not forget about those unfortunate mishaps where your finger is left behind as you slam the car door, or you drop something extremely heavy on your foot.

And how about the time you didn’t secure the exercise bands properly and you get a quick stinging slap in the face? That would explain the wailing, (use of extreme verbiage, I might add), and the use of several ice packs on your face, praying you don’t look like you were in a bar fight the night before. Of course I’m just speculating on what that scenario would actually look like. I have absolutely no knowledge of this happening to anyone. I mean ……. how stupid would that be?

I love to cook with onions and garlic, so let’s not forget about those moments when dicing onions and your significant other walks in, only to find tears streaming down your face. (I did, however, learn a trick on how to minimize the impact from the cooking class I took a few years back.)

But ……. there are no tricks to combat tears when working with Habaneros!

I sometimes cry when I receive wonderful news and of course, sad news. My eyes will well-up when I receive a compliment about my work, as it makes me feel as if I made a difference in anothers’ life.

Fun Fact:  Introverts are more likely to cry "happy tears."

Words don’t bother me as much as they did when I was younger, as I don’t take comments as personally these days but, the right dig will get me. I also find it very hurtful to be ignored. Wouldn’t you rather be confronted instead of deliberately being discounted?

If I think I’ve hurt someone, unintentionally of course, it will fill my heart with regret for, “speaking before thinking,” also bringing tears to my eyes.

Just speaking about my children, and siblings, is also a source of enthusiastic pride, as they are all remarkable people.

When I received this picture from Suzy, along with the recipe and a few stories about its origin, I didn’t cry but did find myself a little overwhelmed with thoughts of nostalgia.

A meaningful homily will also make me tear up as you might remember from my post, “Can Any Relationship Survive Without Forgiveness?”

Fun Fact:  Extraverts tend to cry more often during negative situations.

I have also been known to, on more occasions than not, sniffle at a certain Budweiser Commercial. And if you’re being honest with yourself, I bet you know which one I’m referring to. Ok ……… I’ll admit it, there’s more than just one of them. 🙂

Even a few of those predictable Hallmark movies will affect me, usually the ones they play around the holidays. They always make me think about my parents and how much I miss them.

I cry when I hear specific songs. My eyes, literally, fill up when I hear the songs, “I Can Only Imagine” by MercyMe & “God Only Knows” by King and Country. My Dad had an amazing voice and I can still hear him belt out “Amazing Grace” as if it were just yesterday. More tears ………..

Apparently, crying to music can be a clue into your personality and says something about you. After all, my research on this subject revealed, emotion is the point of music!

Fun Fact:  63% of music listeners report feeling sad & 37% of people feel awe.

I think if they ever offer a college degree in “Sobbing,” I could easily earn a Doctorate.

And, I don’t weep silently. I make noise, and I usually have to blow my nose for quite awhile after I’ve been brought to tears. My eyes will look puffy for hours afterword and, as Little Booger can confirm for you, my eyes turn very green. It’s like an alien took over my face.

Fun Fact:  If you are empathetic to the suffering of others, you may cry more frequently.

Both my daughters, on the other hand, cry pretty tears. If you’re not watching their face, you wouldn’t even know they were shedding any drops of saline. I have watched tears stream down their faces without one noise escaping their mouths. They barely make a sound. Oh, how I would love to be a restrained crier!

Even though I don’t think of myself as an emotional carwreck, I’ve been wondering why some people cry more easily than others. Why do the simplest of things bring one person to tears but not another?

So, I decided to reach out to my very good friend, “The Google,” and do a little research on the subject.

Sadly, society doesn’t respond well to those who easily express their feelings. They are often misrepresented as weak, overly emotional, sensitive or simply labeled a “Crybaby.”

NOT SO!

In fact, crying is a sign of strength!

Who knew? If this is true ………. don’t be messing’ wit me cuz I must be the strongest darn person out there. 🙂

According to Enlightened Solutions, “Crying is a sign of strength because it is a demonstration of a completely comfortable relationship with the self.”

Because our culture is completely obsessed with appearances, crying is not considered a desirable trait. But, here are a few reasons why people who cry are actually mentally stronger than those of you who, us criers label: Cold, Uncaring, Stoic, Detached or Aloof. (See how I turned that around? Insert eye-wink emoji)

Reasons to let the tears flow:

• People who cry refuse to numb their life experiences, enabling them to increase the quality of their life by embracing the highs and the lows.
• They have a stronger awareness of self.
• They are braver. Openly crying is a vulnerable act and also challenging. You are inviting people into your heart at the risk of being judged or misunderstood. Most of us don’t want to take the risk but criers do.
• Criers are admitting the state of their soul which leads to a more honest life.
• They have better relationships because vulnerability is what connects people on a deeper level and, crying allows letting someone else “in.”
• Crying allows us to address our happiness, or pain, so we can move on.
• Criers are healthier. Society looks up to those who appear to “have it all together” and can “tough it out” but in reality, that unchecked stress leads to a whole host of health risks like heart disease and high blood pressure.

OH. MY. GOSH. I bet you non- crying peeps are re-thinking this whole dilemma, eh? And, don’t you just love that sentence that I emphasized in bold? Take a second to re-read that part.

Fun Fact:  Tears help you see better.  The moisture, comprised of water, oil and mucus helps maintain healthy vision by removing the debris.

If those aren’t enough reasons for you to let the tears flow, then check out www.webmd.com. This medical site explains how those who suppress their emotions are causing more harm than good.

Postponing a good cry can be helpful if, when you feel the tears coming, it would be inappropriate at that particular time such as the workplace. Sure, wait until the coast is clear and let go. But if you hold on to those emotions, it can have a negative effect on the body.

People push their emotions aside for various reasons and, although some people are more prone to cry than others, you could be damaging your physical health by silencing those feelings.

In the short term, holding on to those emotions can interfere with your sleep, cause anxiety and irritability.

Not only is it mentally unhealthy to suppress the tears but, if it is a common occurrence, we eventually become numb to our feelings. Sort of deadening ourselves to life.

The danger of not showing waterworks is you, most likely, will explode one day from repressed grief. Long term problems point to high blood pressure, heart disease and diabetes.

Fun Fact:  Babies cry 1 to 3 hours each day, although many new parents would calculate a higher number.

So ……… the big takeaway? You can mitigate the physical damage to your body by releasing the build up of stress in the body by crying. It’s a great way for the body to not only reduce stress, but also process it.

I don’t know about other Baby-Boomers but I’ve reached a point in my life where I don’t care how I look to others, like I did in my 20’s, 30’s or 40’s.

Not So Fun Fact:  Crying can be a form of emotional manipulation.

I equate this whole crying thing to letting my hair go grey. Hear me out …….. It happened in my 20’s. I colored it for a few years but I was a very busy working Mom and I just didn’t have the time to keep up with it. Even though my grey locks were not stylish 30 years ago, like they are now, I did it anyway.

I have often said, unapologetically, “I have earned every single one of them!”

Regardless of whether you let your hair go grey, I’m thinking that crying should be no different. At this point in my life, why should I care what others think about a little show of emotion? I’ve earned every single one of those tears! 🙂 Besides, keeping up with appearances has never been my strong suit.

After reading up on the subject, I no longer feel like I’m cursed. I realize now, although I wear my heart on my sleeve, I’m blessed to be able to constructively live in the moment, while constantly moving forward.

Life is short, live it UNAPOLOGETICALLY!

Time for us “criers” to stand up and be counted as proud, compassionate, vulnerable, happy, sad, lovely crying humans.

So …….. maybe the next time we are in the presence of someone who was courageous enough to let us into their heart for a split second, we could just acknowledge them for who they are. A hand on their shoulder, a quick shoulder squeeze, a hug or a hand tap will do. Words could be optional but, maybe decency is not?

So, I ask you ….. To cry? Or not to cry?

“The sorrow which has no vent in tears may make other organs weep.” – Henry Maudsley

xoxo, Katy

• Crying more than normal, for you, may be a symptom of depression or neurological disorder. You should consult your physician if you are concerned about the frequency of your crying episodes. – healthline.com